I envy all your bedsheets, your pillows & duvet too,
At night you lie in comfort and sleep the whole night through
I’d love to know your secret to staying so serene
When all around you crumbles down, you mix with aristocracy
Your days are bright and glorious, positivity’s a must
And thoughts of impropriety are brushed away like dust
You have the airs & graces to dismiss the critics whole
But decisions made just tell the tale, your careers a huge own goal

So here’s to you Sepp Blatter, can’t believe your conscience is clear
You’ve been the head of Football for about a thousand years
So here’s to you Sepp Blatter, to me it seems absurd
That you’re the best man to run FIFA out of everyone in the world!

Luis Figo would be better or Platini at a push
Robbie Savage might make more sense, but then again my Goldfish would
Qatar’s simply delightful in July or June
But now it seems you’ve changed your mind, we’ll be chanting Christmas tunes
Every TV & radio station, Internet & Papers too
Have proclaimed the lack of sense for the World Cup in 2022
But still you have the top spot, a position you’ll retain
Despite the fact that stadium workers are dying every day

So here’s to you Sepp Blatter, can’t believe you’re still around
You’ve less popular than El Hadji Djiouff, that’s something well profound
So here’s to you Sepp Blatter, you crooked FIFA disgrace
It’s a shame I’ll never meet you, I’d like to punch you in your face!