Nitpick

from Living The Dream by The Edi Johnston Bit

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Silly songs covering all manner of subjects from Dinosaurs to Jaffa cakes and all things in between. Artwork created by The EJB himself featuring no cows at all.

Available on a lovely gatefold CD which will make:

a) a lovely gift for yourself to say well done for the last few months

b) a great present for someone else who you know likes independent self created UK musical comedy

c) one of those things to hang in your garden to scare away the birds from your gentrified herb garden

Includes unlimited streaming of Living The Dream via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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lyrics

You're the one I need that makes me complete
You’re the Ant to my Dec, the Gravy to my Meat
I’ve got some grey hairs coming, put on a few pounds
But you don’t even blink, like the weeping angels are around
There are so many things I adore about you
Like the way that you love Michael Buble too
My feelings erupt, I can’t believe my luck
That you picked me up and took me out of my rut

I’m such a state but you don’t even care
There’s love within my heart
But I’m not sure that this will last too much longer
I wish I’d known right from the start

You put a spoon in the knife drawer, you must be out of your tiny mind
You put a spoon in the knife drawer, did you think I wouldn’t find it
Though I thought our love was right, you went and put a red sock in with the whites
You put a spoon in the knife drawer, to me that’s the end of the line

Everyone has quirks that make them unique
But a quirk’s not the same as sheer incompetency
I can’t comprehend what goes through your brain
It’s clearly the wrong section, but you do it again and again and again
If it was only that I’d ignore what you did
But then I went and put the empty milk back in the fridge
You squeeze the middle from the tube of toothpaste
And leave all of the DVDs out of their case

It’s such a state but you couldn’t care less
I can’t believe my eyes
You left the cheese out to crust on the side
But it’s too late to apologise

You put a spoon in the knife drawer, you must be out of your tiny mind
You put a spoon in the knife drawer, did you think I wouldn’t find it
Yeah, you brought me a cuppa for my thirst, but I know you put the milk in first
You put a spoon in the knife drawer, to me that’s the end of the line

You put a spoon in the knife drawer, you must be out of your tiny mind
You put a spoon in the knife drawer, did you think I wouldn’t find it
Yeah, I know I leave the seat up all the time but it’s nowhere near the same level of crime
You put a spoon in the knife drawer, to me that’s the end of the line

credits

from Living The Dream, released November 12, 2021

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about

The Edi Johnston Bit Nottingham, UK

The Edi Johnston Bit is a Ukulele Playing Musical Comedian from the Midlands.

He writes all kinds of songs (Long AND Short) from a middle-aged, Ginger, tea-drinking, comfortable shoe-wearing, sport following, hiphop loving rapper & singer/songwriter.

“He tore the roof off the place”
LaffaCake Comedy

“Songs from the everyday to the ridiculous. Just brilliant”
Harry & Chris ... more

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The Edi Johnston Bit recommends:

Jigsaw
by Hope and Social

One of the best bands in the world. If you've never seen them, you're missing out but their tunes are equally as ace. Horns, Guitars, Keys, Brilliant lyrics and songs about the wonder of life. The Edi Johnston Bit
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18/40: Wolk Music (For Children, Fascists and Grown-ups)
by Grant Sharkey

Double Bass playing troubadour who I met gigging and have made friends with. Grant is a deeply thought provoking writer with satire and sarcasm running through most of his lyrics. The Edi Johnston Bit
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Utter Baubles
by Plastic Jeezus

Songs by people who are better at writing funny songs on the ukulele than I am. Really. If you like my stuff, you'll love theirs. Having met them at the Musical Comedy Awards, I think they're brill! The Edi Johnston Bit
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